what the F*3K have you done lately?

This closing line from the movie Wanted  kinda got me going for a sec. The movie was great and the message I took away from it was about self awareness. It is way to easy to get pulled off course if you have no idea who you are. I have been moving closer and closer to finally knowing who I am. “I am.” is a statement that can propel your life into limitless directions. For example, I am quiet. Say that enough times and the reality that will be created will necessarily be centered around realizing the way that is being quiet. I am a winner. Say that enough times and winning will be apart of the daily experience.

So, I made some moves in the direction of I am organized. I am a winner. I am successful. I am gorgeous. These statements of self have been rewarding and fulfilling.  These below may help.

So now that the you and what the F*ck have you done lately, has been qualified. It is easier for me to pinpoint what I could be doing. Like taking over the world starting with my dreams! -tk

B.Clay’s Body Stats Continued

Hello World,

I finally tracked down my third tape measure and managed to take my measurements.  Okay here goes,

Bust 46′ inches

Waist 45.5′ inches

Hips 50.5′ inches

L. and R. thighs 31′ inches each (glad to know things are even…lol)

L. and R. arm 14.5′ inches each 

Okay, seeing these numbers is hard but I really need to face the music about my body.  The only way I am going to win this batttle of the (all over body) bulge is to be in relationship with my commitment to lose weight. Knowing where I am currently in weight and size as well as where I would like to end up is important. Keeping track of the journey, however, is paramount.  I was just remarking to my best friend TK that I need to get a full length mirror so that I can see my body everyday and be reminded of my commitment to become healthier and more fit.  I also need a scale.  I was  recently weighed by a friend on her fancy smancy scale that measures weight, body fat %, and water weight %.  I was frustrated to learn that despite my being more active now than ever my weight still had not budged from 225 lbs.  In addition, I learned that I was only 40% water weight (70% recommended), and a whopping 40% fat  (20-25% recommended).  Despite being initially discouraged by these numbers, I reminded myself of my commitment to achieving and maintaining a healthier and fitter me.  It may take some time, but I’m in it to win it.

So now my plan is to score a full length mirror and a scale by week’s end.  Two weeks from now, I will report back with some new (lower) stats.

Until then good people, live in relationship with your commitments…..and of course…

Live Inspired,

B.Clay

“Let’s talk about sex baby…”

I know I’m supposed to be following up with part 2 of my clean eating series but other issues are more pressing.  The title of this post is a nod to the Salt N Pepa song from their album Blacks’ Magic. I sang the lyrics long before I knew what they meant.  My idea of sexual relationships have been a hodge podge of ideas- some original, some inherited, but few of them positively defined. A recent situation has caused me to rethink somethings.  The situation has exposed some truths about myself that- on a good day- I would rather not discuss.  To protect the guilty (and keep myself out of the reaches of litigation) I will not name the offending party.  I was hurt and violated by someone who I let into my sacred space.  Now, this is not the first time that I’ve been hurt in this manner- so where do I go from here?  Evidently the course I’ve followed (in regards to sex and emotional health) has led me astray.  There is a disconnect between how I see myself and how that is translated into intimate relationships.  Today I am humbled enough to say that I need to relearn how to relate to men in intimate relationships.  I am also thankful that the bumps and bruises have opened my eyes to the possibility things greater than the immediate situation.

Clean Eating?

Ok- so I’m trying to changing my life. No diet, no fad. Just an old school elbow grease based solution.  I was speaking with TK Rose the other day and for the millionth time we were talking about the process. What process you ask? The process of being who you want to be when you grow up (if you can call it that).  The person you want to be when you imagine the best you possible.  This person is built from the inside out.  Well, as we walk, cry, push and work through our beginning 90 day journey to WIN NOW! sometimes we are met with challenges.  The latest for me has been deciding and preparing what to fuel my body with.  As I’ve sought new recipes- I stumbled across the idea of clean eating.  I’d heard the term before- but thought that it was synonymous with eating healthy.  Eating clean is a movement!  I will keep you posted with what I’m learning, but I can’t do it justice in the 3 minutes I have to post…So more to come Thursday chickies! Peace, Memeeflye

Moving Forward

I think that sometimes when we are moving forward- we can get a little scared in the process. This week my fear turned into self sabotage. I am back in school as a single mom (of a beautiful son) at 29. I’ve worked hard to get into nursing school. I left a position that was secure at one of the best hospitals in the in the country and moved to a rural place where literally- no one knows my name. This month I had the task of completing an exegesis (a in depth study of a Biblical passage to draw meaning out of the text). I’ve known about this exegesis since forever. I gathered my sources two weeks into the semester and FROZE! I’m not sure what happened. I kept telling myself to pull it together- and couldn’t. I set myself up to fail. I’m not sure if this was a preparation issue- or a self-esteem issue? Oh- you don’t follow? If I believed that I dcould succeed then my actions would have followed. If I acted like someone who could achieve success then my actions would have led to sucess. Now, don’t get me wrong- falling (or failing) get’s you closer to success. I would like, however, to be in a place where I don’t knock things into my own path. In other news: Still on the fitness horse. I need to learn more about toning and weight lifting because I KNOW I’m not doing it right… I just want to be diesel build some muscle and look toned- do I lift heavy or light? And how many times? Anybody?

HHC said she don’t give a damn!

The HHC would like to point out a few things:

1. This is going to sound really harsh…I know this. However, it is a huge factor in losing weight and maintaining that weight. Trust me, when I did this, I was able to lose 40 lbs and keep it off for this long. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU. Stats are cool so that you can gage your progress but it’s not the end all, be all. Besides, most of the time when people on this journey keep looking at their weight, it gives them added stress. I’ll get to the stress part soon…There are some stats that you should care about. None of them are on your blog. I helped a friend of mine lose 35lbs. last summer. I did this without knowing what she weighed and she was more than happy when I told her that  I didn’t really care about her weight, except to know her goal. Now the 2 stats that you should worry about are your body fat percentage and your water weight percentage. Your Body Mass Index doesn’t count. That is very inaccurate. A body builder would have a BMI that says that he’s severely obese but we all know that his weight doesn’t matter when he has 7% body fat.
2. Let’s get to the stress part really quick. Especially when it comes to weighing yourself. Say you weighed yourself today and you realized that you lost 2 lbs. Then you weigh yourself the next day or the next week and you have gained 4lbs. As you continue to worry about your progress (or seeming lack thereof), you continue on an upward slope to gaining more weight. Why? Because stress lives inside fat cells (betcha didn’t know that did ya?). To add to that, when you’re stressed out, the first place it goes to is your stomach! 80% of all dis-ease is caused by stress. Life can be stressful but let’s not add to it. Christine, if weight watchers wants you to weigh yourself every week, then do what it do. For Christa and TaKeesha, I would suggest that you weigh yourself once every two weeks. When you do weigh yourself, weigh at the same time. I usually weigh myself in the mornings - when I just woke up, right after using the bathroom and right before going to the shower. This time is the most accurate time since you haven’t eaten or drink anything as yet.
3. Fitness, fitness, fitness…. I know you like those weights. I need to like them. But what I will advise in this case (and I think I said this to you already) is to be easy on the free weights. Start off with low weights (you want to tone or look like SheRa?). Leg exercises with weights will be at least 2lbs. heavier than what you are doing on your arms. For instance, if I do arm strengthening exercises with 8lb. weights, then any leg strengthening exercises I do will be with at least 10lb weights.
4. One more thing in terms of fitness. You like the treadmill? that’s cool. You like the elliptical? That’s nice too. But don’t do them throughout your program. Switch it up PLEASE. You are changing your body and it will get used to the “same ol, same ol” really quick. I would suggest that you add something every week or you do more of one thing. Here’s an example:

When I used to go to the gym, I would do some treadmill and elliptical for at least an hour before doing some kind of group class. After a while, I stopped losing weight. So I changed it around. One day, I would do treadmill (10 - 15 mins), elliptical (15 mins), bike (15 mins) and rowing (10 - 15 mins) OR I would incorporate my weight lifting exercises with that. Another day, I would do 30 mins on the treadmill and then break up the rest. I might follow that for a week and then do things completely different - bike first, then elliptical and NO treadmill. Mix and match so your body has no choice but to burn burn burn.

(going back to #1) Women should have 60% of their weight consist of water. Men’s water weight percentage should be 70%. I guarantee you that your body fat % is high and your water weight % is low, which is a huge factor in your total weight being what it is now. So all of you should get a scale that gives you those numbers. Tanita is a good brand. At the same time, don’t go to the scale once a week or more. That will drive you into depression. Why? Because most times, when people lose weight, they don’t see it. The reason is that it’s your body fat that has gone down. It’s the main reason why you don’t look like you lost anything but you can’t fit into your pants anymore. Increasing your water weight and decreasing salt and sugar enables your body to stop retaining water and letting waste flush out your system faster.

I think this should be it for now.

And there you have it folks!

TOO SEXY, [No Retreat, No Surrender...FOCUS!]

 

So for the past few days I have been battling inside and out with fears, passions, hopes, dreams, and calories.  And I need to

FOCUS FOCUS  FOCUS  Really another opportunity will come along. Another chance will happen upon me but I can’t give up because I don’t have the skills now to defeat my opponent. Right now I want to win. I feel like it is my time. Like the time is now. And these fears and  trials and burdens are equipping me and teaching me lessons.

I ate crap this weekend! I haven’t worked out! I haven’t gotten any sleep or any rest! But I am still fighting and I have not retreated. This weekend I wanted to retreat. I didn’t want to wear this beautiful spring black dress from Forever 21

 

 

 

 

because I thought people would laugh at me. I struggled to get to this event that i had been working on for months and tirelessly striving towards for like two weeks straight. I was so much to walk out of the house with that dress on. Thank G-d I was small enough to be able to fit it without a spanx. But I was so self conscious and scared I folded over with grief in the hallway. I was afraid people were gonna laugh at me. I was afraid people would think that I thought I looked cute and make fun of me! Suddenly, I was about to cry and pulled it together. I thought hey go big or go home after all  More is more!!

So after a few seconds of shifting shame and swaddling my fear I stood up and slung them over my shoulder, straightened my back and walked out the house.  only to bolt back upstairs for a change of clothes should I have lost my nerve in the car.  But I didn’t.. In fact when I walked in the door I got a great response. These guys were just staring and smiling in awe. I was like

What a spectacle huh? What a work of art.  I mean that is what winning is all about. I told myself  for this foolishness.  GET IT!!!!

 

Anyway… No Retreat…No Surrender!  WIN NOW …WHY WAIT?

Early to Rise

Yesterday I had a generally bad day. I couldn’t figure out why it was so bad.  I fell into some unproductive behaviors, blew my calorie count (about 1800 per day- no more than 2000), slugged my way through my workout and to top it all off: my son kept asking me “are you sad?”  I realized later in the evening that it was because of failure.  I’d planned to wake up early, take my son to school and begin my day with a workout, so that  my afternoon could be spent studying.  Even though this was my plan, I’d done nothing to prepare.  I ended up making myself late which in turn sent things spiraling.  In the grand scheme of things- this was not big.  But somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain I accept defeat and internalize that and it manifests itself as self-destruction.  So today, I woke up early. Dropped him off at school. Worked out. Prepared my breakfast and lunch. Packed them with 2 apples and a salad as a snack and went to school.  Was there a difference- YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! Yesterday was just that. Yesterday. While I may work a little harder to burn the calories I ate up yesterday, I don’t feel guilty and I will keep it moving.  I now have the option to add a second work out to my day. 

 

Update: I am now at 212 LBS. Started at 234ish.

My Butt is Officially on the Line! Care to Join Me?

Hello folks; it’s me, B.Clay, the reluctant co-author in the We Win Now bunch! When I first learned of We Win Now I was immediately stoked.  How exciting I thought to create a community of purposeful women declaring their WINS in health/wellness, beauty, and life! I was all for letting the world know about my wins in beauty and life, after all I am cute - (^_^) -and have accomplished a couple significant things in life worth sharing, but health…wellness…fitness…working-out…eating more vegetables than cupcakes…blah blah…..are topics I rather not discuss.  After spending the first couple of weeks thinking about my reluctance to share in this area it occurred to me that I have issues with “putting my butt on the line.”  I would much rather continue trucking along to the gym maybe three times per week by my lonesome and eating whatever I want including a weekly cupcake than making outrageous world wide web declarations about increasing the number of minutes I spend trying to run or about how I plan not to have a cupcake this week all in the name of accelerating my weight loss…BOO, BOO to that I said! I want to be comfortable, I thought, and sharing my weight loss and fitness goals with my co-authors and the world would leave me in an uncomfortable position.  I thought that if I make declarations about my goals for weight loss and fitness I would be held HOSTAGE by my WIN NOW co-authors and WIN NOW readers and forced to produce results like shrinking pics of my body and shorter minute per mile stats!  The thought of declaring something and not accomplishing it scares the crap out of me; I don’t want to fail so I usually aim low and keep comfortable and collect whatever small wins I can. Now don’t get me wrong, a win is a win, but the truth is, I want to WIN BIG in every area of my life especially in my goal of achieving and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  What I realize now is that the only way to get there – to WIN NOW and WIN BIG - is to S-T-R-E-T-C-H out of my comfort zone; to graciously receive the support and encouragement offered by my WIN NOW co-authors and YOU, WIN NOW readers and partners, and to wholeheartedly give support and encouragement in return; and most especially to powerfully declare that “I want to cut my dress size in half and become a runner!”; and to simply PUT MY BUTT ON THE LINE!

Care to join me!  What’s your declaration? How badly do you want to

WIN NOW?  

B. Clay’s Body Stats

• Age: 28               
• Height:5’1
• Weight 225lbs
• Current size: 16
• Goal size: size 8
• Measurements: TBA (TK has my tape measure)

Live Inspired,

B. Clay

Watermelon Boobies!

This morning was a bit rough! I was looking in the mirror and thinking all sorts of unhappy sour puss stuff. Then I had to pull it together. First it was was my hair, then my eyes, then my skin, then my mouth. I was thinking to myself… for myself “when will I be through with not appreciating you?” You know? Like “how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?” type question. How many licks (kicks, hurts, bumps, pains, ego bruises, funky puddin faces, sulky mirror dance trances) does it really take?  Why don’t I just bite the hard candy shell and get to my chocolatey goodness?! I think I got some treats to be proud of, some sweets to flaunt, some puckers to smoother with gooey gumdrop affection. 

So in my search for some interesting reps of balancing self appreciation I happened up this artist Ms. Karin a winning woman who Wins Now. Here are a couple of her paintings.  

 

About Karin Turner words from her site: www.karinsart.com

 Born: 09 nov 1962    Landstuhl, Germany
Currently residing & creating in Oakland, Ca.

I create positive African American images in the form of brightly colored original acrylic & watercolor paintings and drawings. My figurative portraits speak of the past relating to the present, while forecasting an optimistic future. Subscribing to the belief that “everything will be all right”; they reflect both whimsy and pride of my African American heritage.

I have been painting for approximately 4-5 years. Each completed painting is an exercise in the pursuit of perfecting my own personal style, mastering the chosen medium, and creating my own legacy as an African-American woman.

Studio Karin Turner

The content of my work consists generally of all female imagery either as icon type figures or as nudes. Currently I choose to paint African American women of color.

My images offer subtle commentary on racial/gender stereotypes simply by their existence.

I have chosen to illustrate the upside of having a heritage that has always been illustrated as a down time for African Americans…survival in spite of…along with triumph, could never be a downside: This applies to everyone, so I feel that my art is for everyone—not just black women who know what it is like to be stereotyped.

Although none of my images “cut you”—they certainly do leave an imprint on the mind, challenging your thoughts/opinions on racism, stereotypes of beauty, sexuality, & nudity. Often combined with levity or the very things that are used to promote stereotypes.

I invite the viewer to ask her/himself some questions…

Am I surprised to see these fantastical creatures have both brown skin and curves?
Or is this the way I’ve always imagined them?

Did Aunt Jemima have a beauty mark?

Who invented skinny as normal—and popular? And if that’s normal…
Does that make all who adore and desire the roundness of my curves—”freaks”?

Do I feel uneasy about the “simple complexity” of watermelon?

Have I reached the point of being able to auto-correct all of the derogatory images that have been associated with watermelons and ebony skin?

Have I educated myself & others to be able to accept these images for what they are?

And finally,

Can’t a pretty picture just be a pretty picture?

Thank you for experiencing my art.